As any creator knows, becoming successful or having your dream job is incredibly difficult. When you’ve been doing this as long as I have, sometimes that difficulty turns into frustration, and that frustration can lead to uncertainty. It leads to questioning if you’re good enough, if you’ve made the right decisions, or even if it’s even worth doing anymore. Add adult responsibilities, time management, and a second child into the mix, and every minute of time counts. It can be mentally draining.
I want to be open and honest here. Over the last couple of months, I’ve been fighting internally with myself about if Boss Rush Games is still fun for me, if it fits into my schedule, and if I should let it go and either pursue a solo project or pause any creative efforts all together. Mix those thoughts with some—let’s say “colorful” Twitter DMs and things being said by people across my social media feeds (friends, followers, influencers, and industry professionals alike), and I really struggled to find where I fit in all of this. I wanted to have something that was my own because I, like many of the creatives in this space, want to work in this space. I could have my hands in a lot of different things to create a portfolio and apply with multiple efforts on my resume.
It led me to restart my personal Twitch and YouTube channels as well as start a small show outside Boss Rush Games called Standard Definition to fill my time on Sunday nights while Arsenal X is on hiatus. I refocused my efforts on Destiny and Tower Casuals so I can be a better copilot with Josh. I thought that this would fill a creative void, but it created more work for me, creating even more stress and becoming less fun. But it did make me realize something: Boss Rush Games and helping others really is my love, my passion, and my home. I’ve worked very hard (alongside this incredible team) to make this project and this community worth something to so many people. With a little restructuring, cutting the fat, and adjusting a few aspects, Boss Rush is everything I’ve wanted and more.
Will I ever work in this industry? I honestly don’t know. A thirty four year old with little experience outside of what I’ve been doing for the last six years with multiple groups is hardly going to garner any attention from anywhere major. But maybe that’s not what “working in the industry” looks like for me. What I do know is that what I’ve been struggling with internally shouldn’t have happened at all. I have such an amazing team and have made lifelong friends; I don’t know if I would want to do this with anyone else.
Details of our restructure will be available for you to read shortly once I consult with our leadership team. What I want to leave you with is this: You can have heroes or favorite content creators or friends who do amazing work. Don’t let it entirely influence who you are or what you want to do. Life is too short to struggle with yourself about who you are as a creative and as a person. We live in an amazing time with our passions driving our creativity. This community has been so good to us, and I want to be a great example for them and be more authentically myself in our content moving forward. I want to show you all what fun this truly can be.
Thank you all for reading, and, until next time: be you, be more, and be better.